My Environment

 My Environment

By

Antonis Antoniou

 

Did you ever wonder why some products in the supermarket are right by the counter?

The answer is simple. You see them, you buy them even if you don’t need them.

Studies have shown that the placement of one product is as important as pricing. People often buy a product not for what they are, but because of where they are. At the same time, if I walk in the kitchen and see a plate full of biscuits what are the chances of eating only one? If in place of the biscuits, I have bananas and apples, am I going to look for biscuits?

Let me give you one more example. When a couple welcomes in the family a newborn baby what they want is to help so they grow up in safety. What do they do in the house? They rearrange everything for the safety of the baby. No dangerous objects around, less furniture, safety doors, etc.

Why don’t we do the same with us?

The environment is the invisible enemy or friend that shapes human behavior. Even though we are unique as personalities, certain behaviors tend to show up again and again when the environment conditions us to do so.

For example, in the church, if you want to talk, you will whisper. On the other hand, in a stadium you will yell and scream, even curse without any good reason. Why? The environment. When you walk alone, in the dark, in a strange city, you tend to be extra cautious, compared to a walk in your neighborhood in the morning.

Vision is the most important of our sensors. Ten million sensors of our body work on our vision. What we see determines in so many ways our decision-making. In my office, in every school I worked at, I insisted on having decent chairs and not plastic ones, even a couch if possible. Why? It looks better. I have paintings and flowers. Why? It makes you feel better and many times I have been told that my office looks nothing like the rest of the school. What do I gain? They respect the place more, and they behave differently. By improving the work environment, I improve the behavior of my students. In other words, we don’t have to be victims of the environment, but we can build better and of higher quality conditions. 

If you place a couple of books by your bed, a couple more on the couch, and have the furniture away from the TV, what are the chances of reading a page or two? Higher than if every chair is placed watching the TV and no books are around. Every behavior is initiated by what we see around us. I often tell my colleagues that if, when I go home put on my exercise shoes and shorts the chances of going to the gym are higher irrelevant to how self-motivated I am or not.

By creating obvious visual cues, you create easier desired behavior.

Environmental design is powerful.

You can be the designer of your environment or a follower of the environment that others designed for you.

The choice is yours!

 

 

Dream Big, Act Small: A Recipe for Success.

"Dream big, because the size of your dreams determines the breadth of your future."

By Antonis Antoniou

My dear friends,

When crafting your life plans, remember these two key principles: When you Plan, Think Big and when you act, Think Small.

 

Let’s break it down:

 

Think Big:

As you embark on your journey, envision the grand picture. Imagine your paradise in vibrant colors. Dream of the life you want to create.

Identify where you want to make a difference. What impact do you aspire to have? This clarity will guide your path.

 

Think Small:

Now, let’s get practical. Scale down your vision into manageable steps. Break it into smaller tasks and tangible milestones.

 

Consider three critical sectors:

Idea: Start with an idea. For instance, wanting to look better in your clothes.

Scaling: How can you make this idea a reality? Break it down further.

Environment: Surround yourself with the right influences and set up your surroundings for success.

 

Example:

Idea: You aim to lose ten kilos. To achieve this, focus on cutting calories, eating healthier, and exercising.

Scaling: Implement specific actions. For instance:

Restrict eating from 3 PM to 10 AM.

Opt for nutritious foods and avoid high-calorie options.

Commit to the gym—four times a week initially, then five times in the second month.

Environment: Connect with like-minded individuals—those who prioritize health and fitness.

Declutter your environment by removing tempting items from your fridge.

By following this approach, you’ll transform your illusion into reality. Soon, you’ll embody the athletic person you’ve always dreamed of becoming. Your clothes will fit better, and your life will flourish.

 

Remember: Small steps lead to big transformations!

Clarity is what we need

 Clarity is what we need

by

Antonis Antoniou

Many people think they lack motivation when what they lack is clarity. At the same time, a lot of people spend their entire lives waiting for the right time to improve.

It is fundamental to set a time and location.

What do I want?

Think of these two statements: “I will start exercising.”, When?

“Every week I will be in the gym of my neighborhood Monday, Wednesday, and Friday, for one hour”.

 In the second statement, you have the will (behavior), the time, and the location. You don’t have to decide because you already have a plan. Simply follow your predetermined plan.

Another tip is to start your new behavior the first day of the week, month, or year. Act when your hope is higher. If you have hope, you have a reason to act. Make the new behavior, the act so obvious that with enough repetition, you will get used to it and change. Make it also so easy to follow that you will stick to it. How?

Exercise less but stick with the plan to make it a habit, even ten minutes are enough to form the new behavior and then scale it up, by increasing the time.

So, how do you start?

With clarity of your goal!

Keywords: Clarity, time, location, higher hope, obvious, scale it up.

Your emotions can get the best of you.

The term “emotions” refers to a conscious mental reaction that individuals experience. These reactions are subjectively felt as strong feelings, often directed toward a specific object or situation. Emotions are typically accompanied by physiological and behavioral changes in the body. Examples of emotions include anger, anxiety, frustration, sadness, fear, excitement, and shame.

Anger: While anger can sometimes drive positive change, it can also lead to regrettable actions. Whether it is snapping at a customer service agent or losing your temper with a client, recognizing the warning signs, and finding ways to calm down before making rash decisions is crucial.

Suggestion: Tell yourself that he or she must not act in a certain way. You can change that to “I would prefer he or she would not act this way but if he or she does it is ok and not in my sphere of influence. This will make you relax and be more accepting of others.

Anxiety: Feeling anxious is normal, but excessive worry about things beyond your control can be unproductive. Instead of pacing and fretting, channel that energy into problem-solving. Focus on improving the situation rather than dwelling on “what if” scenarios.

Suggestion: Usually, anxiety derives from future events that will never happen. Think twice about what you control and what you do not. Breathe in and breathe out.

Frustration: When frustration sets in, it is easy to give up. But remember that persistence pays off. Break down difficult tasks, take breaks, and maintain a positive inner dialogue to encourage your efforts. Giving up prematurely will not lead to success.

Suggestion: Try breaking down into small simple tasks the actions you need to take and above all remember that if you learn to be consistent you improve the outcomes.

Sadness and Withdrawal: When sadness strikes, the impulse to withdraw can be strong. However, isolating yourself from friends and family may exacerbate your distress. Instead, consider engaging with others—even when you do not feel like it. Being around people can provide distraction, comfort, and even comic relief.

Suggestion: Always have a trusted friend to turn to when you need someone to talk to. Not to get advice, just a couple of ears to actively listen to you.

Fear and Holding Back: Fear is uncomfortable, and it is natural to avoid discomfort. However, allowing fear to dictate your actions can hinder progress. Whether it is the fear of rejection when applying for a job or the fear of failure in a new venture, confront those fears.

Suggestion: With practice, you will build confidence in facing what scares you. Face your fears and keep walking.

Excitement and Risk Oversight: Excitement is not always helpful. When you are overly excited, you might underestimate risks and overestimate success chances. Whether it is taking on a loan beyond your means or starting a business impulsively, weigh the pros and cons.

Suggestion: Do not let feel-good emotions cloud your judgment. Think wisely!

Shame and Hiding: Shame can drive you to hide. You might cover up mistakes or mask your true self. Instead, refuse to keep secrets rooted in shame. Embrace authenticity and own up to your actions, even when shame surfaces.

Suggestion: Scale in your mind what your morals think shame is and put your thoughts into perspective and in order.

In your journey of life remember that self-awareness and emotional intelligence play a crucial role in managing our emotions effectively. By understanding how our feelings impact our behavior, we can make more informed choices and achieve better outcomes. Your feelings are cherished, every day, by words. One hundred and fifty words per minute. 16000 words per day of which eight hundred are unique. Be careful about the quality of those words. Count the positive, add more, and eliminate the negative ones and your emotions will get the best of you. Your new you!

 

Change is good

Change is good.

Change is even better if it is done:

·       The right time
· For a good thing,
· In a new and
·  better direction.

At the right time because: “Not everything that is faced can be changed, but nothing can be changed until it is faced.” ― James Baldwin.

If you want progress, start today.

 

It must be good. “I alone cannot change the world, but I can cast a stone across the waters to create many ripples.” — Mother Teresa. Do your part, do your job!

Change is good. “The secret of change is to focus all of your energy not on fighting the old, but on building the new” — Socrates.

 

It must be in the right direction. One must be able to change because “Intelligence is the ability to adapt to change.” — Stephen Hawking. Be intelligent!

As Lao Tzu said, “If you do not change direction, you might end up where you are heading.”

 

Lastly, I want you to remember this: “Those who cannot change their minds cannot change anything.” — George Bernard Shaw.

It doesn’t matter when we start, or where we start. All that matters is that we start our journey.

 

To start your journey, you must have a plan. No, let me rephrase, have infinite plans. Different plans for each thing you are willing to change.

Under that plan set the right goals. You know where you want to go, and the change you want to make so set the right goals.

 

Break them into smaller goals and set what it takes to make them happen. If you want to be healthy that’s the plan. Set two goals:

·       going to the gym and

·       eating healthy.

Why go to the gym? It's your plan.

Why? To get in shape.

Is it simple? No.

So, what do we do? We give up.

Why? Because even if you go to the gym, you will not see any results in a month or two, not even in three. Even if you exercise every day. In other words, you feel the pain, but you don’t see the gain. That is why you will give up.

What is the solution? Think about the big picture, the athletic body you want to have. Now think about the first step towards this plan and the goal of going to the gym.

Is it clear now what you must do?

Still waiting? Get out of the house and take a walk, not far, not for long. Walk for ten minutes, it’s enough. Now go back home. Set the alarm for the next day, a notification on your phone, and repeat. Ten more minutes. Now you have walked for twenty minutes, good for you. You repeated the task twice, bravo! You are not the athlete you want to be, but you made the first two steps.

Is it enough? No.

Is it in the right direction? Yes. What we want is consistency, small steps, and training your brain to make small steps in the right direction.

If you combine this with the healthy habit of eating a salad instead of a burger, carrots instead of fries, drinking water instead of a Coke or a Pepsi then you will feel the results much sooner.

Change is good, think of the things you want to change, FIRST!

Who do you wish to become?

In our pursuit of self-improvement, we often set goals—ambitious targets we hope to achieve. We’re told to write them down, prioritize them, and work diligently toward their realization. But what if I told you that the way we frame our goals matters more than we realize?

Let’s explore two distinct approaches: outcome-based habits and identity-based habits. These approaches shape not only our actions but also our sense of self.

Outcome-Based Habits:

These habits focus on what you want to achieve. They’re like aiming for the bullseye on a target board.

Imagine saying, “I want to lose weight,” or “I want to make a lot of money.” These goals emphasize the result—the outcome.

Outcome-based habits are like peeling an onion from the outside layer. They start with the visible surface—the external markers of success.

Identity-Based Habits:

These habits shift the focus to who you wish to become. They’re about shaping your identity.

Instead of saying, “I want to be rich,” consider asking, “Who do I wish to become?” The latter question delves deeper.

Identity-based habits start from the innermost layer of the onion—the core of your being.

An Example: Cleaning Your Room. Let’s illustrate this with a practical example. Suppose you want to maintain a clean and tidy room. Here’s how the two approaches differ:

Outcome-Based Approach:

You set a specific target: “Clean the room by Saturday.”

You allocate time, gather supplies, and scrub away. Success! The room sparkles.

But did you address the root issue? Not necessarily. The room is clean, but the underlying habits remain unchanged.

Identity-Based Approach:

Instead, ask yourself, “Who do I wish to become?”

You decide: “I am someone who keeps a tidy living space.”

Now, cleaning your room isn’t just a task; it’s an expression of your identity.

You build a system: put clothes away daily, organize belongings, and maintain cleanliness.

Over time, this identity-based habit transforms your behavior. You’re no longer cleaning out of obligation; you’re embodying cleanliness.

The Challenge: Shift Your Focus So, let’s reframe our questions. Rather than fixating on outcomes, let’s explore who we aspire to be. Peel the onion from within. What identity-based habits can you cultivate? How can you align your actions with the person you wish to become?

Remember, it’s not just about a clean room—it’s about becoming the kind of person who naturally keeps things tidy. Know that this is why we don’t change bad habits. What you managed to do is clean a dirty room, and you will have to do it again and again. Like running in circles and not going everywhere. On the contrary, if you tell yourself “I am a clean person, I always have a clean room, this is who I am”, then you will always have a clean room because you will not make it messy or dirty. Your identity won’t allow you to make it dirty.

Imagine two individuals discussing their fitness:

Person A:

Person A admits, “No, I’m not in good shape right now. But I plan to start exercising and eating more healthily.”

Their focus is on the outcome: getting fit in the future.

Person B:

Person B confidently states, “Yes, I’m always exercising and eating healthy food. It’s been a consistent part of my lifestyle.”

Notice how their response emphasizes their identity: they see themselves as someone who prioritizes health and fitness.

Now, let’s place these responses on a metaphorical scale:

Person A leans toward the goal of fitness, but it’s still a distant target.

Person B, on the other hand, stands closer to the identity of a healthy, athletic individual.

The subtle shift from outcome-based thinking to identity-based thinking can make all the difference. It’s not just about what you want to achieve; it’s about who you aspire to be. So don’t look at the results you want but pay attention to the system of actions and the beliefs that are underneath. Behaviors that are not one with yourself will be lost. Draw a picture of your real self, the one that feels more like you. Don’t view yourself as someone else who is trying to be you. Success is when what you do is part of your identity. Start small, from the little staff, and little by little you will build an amazing identity. An identity that you will be proud of. The more pride you will have the more motivated you will be to maintain and grow.

Transforming Habits: From Reps to Resilience

My journey of self-improvement is a testament to the power of consistent effort and identity-based habits. Let’s dissect my story:

I am very proud of my reading and exercise habits. When I am at the gym, I always include in my program a couple of sets of dips. I started with three sets of eight and every month I could measure the progress and today I am doing four sets of thirty. I wanted to be in excellent shape and build muscle in my arms. I knew that to keep muscles in your arm you need to work on your triceps and that drove me to repeat the exercise. In the beginning, I could not see the results, but I could count the reps going up.

The Invisible Gains:

At one point in time, I could compare my ability to do all those reps while other younger that looked stronger than me couldn’t. I can’t remember when I started seeing my triceps getting bigger, but they did. I can now feel my shirts and suits look better and I don’t even think about it anymore, I just enjoy looking good in my clothes. At the same time, I am more cautious of my diet and without becoming obsessed with my body I keep it in good shape for my age. Strength emerged from consistency.

The transformation was subtle, yet profound. Suddenly, shirts fit better, suits draped elegantly. You didn’t need a mirror to notice. Confidence radiated from well-defined arms. Looking good became effortless. It wasn’t vanity; it was a celebration of discipline and self-care.

It was a balancing Act:

I wasn’t obsessed with my body, but I cared for it. Moderation was my mantra.

The diet became a conscious choice, not a burden. I nourished my temple.

Age didn’t dictate; resilience did. I kept my vessel shipshape.

Remember, it’s not just about the reps—it’s about the resilience they build. Each dip was a vote for the person you aspired to be. And now when I slip into my favorite shirt, it whispers, “Well done.”

When it comes to my reading habits. I have set a goal of reading thirty pages of a book a day. What I wanted was the knowledge, the intellectual ability, and the inner power and wisdom one can get from the right books. I have often started reading two and three books at the same time. For the ones that were of no interest to me, I would leave them on the side, and for the ones that I liked, I would read them twice, take notes, and apply their wisdom. So, what drove me to read was the urge for knowledge and the identity of a knowledgeable man and I found out in the process that when I teach what I learn I learn it even better. The environment I associate with started to enjoy what I had to offer and that made me want to get more so I can give more. It is now part of myself. I define myself this way and I enjoy the benefits of giving and growing at the same time. For the record, I am still at the point where I don’t know much about the subjects I am interested in!

These habits formed my behavior, and my behavior defined my identity. The reason I stick with it is that it is now part of me. I am not trying to convince myself to go to the gym. I enjoy it. I am not giving any excuses for not reading, I just have books everywhere and I read. One important aspect of my habits is that even if I don’t have the time to read the thirty pages, I will still open the book and read one or two. I keep the momentum of the habit and I scale it the next day. How? I read the pages of the day as well as the ones that I didn’t read the day before. One might say that he or she has no spare time to do so. Ok then, try something different. When you are in the car listen to an audiobook or try a self-motivation technique. Let me give you an example. Every day at work I try to have a break around ten and have a coffee with my colleagues. Some of them are very loud and talk about football all the time, arguing about it and so I said to myself every time they are too loud, I am going to stay in my office, drink my coffee, and read an article. You cannot imagine how many articles I have read this year!

Define Your Ideal Self:

Now it is your turn to tell me who you wish to become. Who?

Who do you wish to become? Write it down. Be specific. Visualize the person you aspire to be.

Is it a confident leader, a compassionate friend, a disciplined artist, or a resilient athlete? Capture that essence.

Behavior Mapping:

Now emphasize the process and write down what are the steps to walk along the way, what causes friction, and how you eliminate that. What helps you along the way and how will it become part of your identity? Have you thought about it? If you did, now, just do it. Step up and build your new identity. Feel proud about it. Once your pride gets involved in the process you will fight with whatever you have to maintain your identity. Remember that your behavior reflects your identity.

In other words, let’s embark on a journey of self-discovery and intentional growth. Here’s your personalized blueprint:

Identify key behaviors that align with your ideal self. These are the building blocks of your identity.

For example, if you wish to be a better listener, jot down “active listening” as a behavior.

The Process:

Break it down. What steps lead to that behavior? How do you practice it daily?

If it’s active listening, your steps might include maintaining eye contact, asking open-ended questions, and truly understanding others.

Friction Points:

Anticipate obstacles. What hinders your progress? Is it distractions, self-doubt, or old habits?

Address these friction points. Maybe set boundaries with distractions or practice positive self-talk.

Support Systems:

Who or what helps you along the way? Friends, mentors, books, routines?

Surround yourself with positive influences. Seek accountability partners.

Identity Integration:

Make it part of you. It’s not just a task; it’s your identity.

If you want to be a writer, write daily—even if it’s a sentence. Soon, you’ll embody the identity of a writer.

Pride and Persistence:

Celebrate small wins. Pride fuels persistence.

When you live your chosen behaviors, your identity solidifies. You’ll fight to maintain it.

As I said, your behavior reflects your identity. So, step up, build, and feel proud.

Very proud!